Jokes Not Worth Spreading

There is a special kind of internet person who posts a joke and then immediately runs to another platform to announce that they were funny somewhere else.

“No big deal but I broke the internet today. People are losing their minds over this SuPeR fUnNy thing I said.””

No they did not. Calm down, Hemingway Carlin.

This is comedy with training wheels. It is applause fishing. It is standing on a bar stool and ringing a bell because you think you deserve a parade for saying something mildly clever in a comment thread in front of people who have zero clue who you are. It’s not even rage bait because nobody cares. You’re an internet person. You’re not famous.

If I post something funny, I post something funny.

That is the whole transaction.

I am not running a museum of my own wit. I am not issuing press releases about my sense of humor. I am not building a cinematic universe around a one liner I typed while sitting on the toilet.

There is nothing more embarrassing than being impressed with yourself in public.

It is comedy cosplay. Influencer brain. It is the need for validation.

The joke is the joke. The laugh is the reward. Anything beyond that is just desperation.

If you need to explain why something you said was funny, it wasn’t. If you need to repost it so people know you are funny, you’re not. If you need strangers to certify your wit, you’re already in trouble.

Post your joke.

Let it live or die on its own.

Move on with your life.

The internet is not your open mic night and nobody is obligated to clap – especially when it’s just not funny in the first place.